The first is "Dog Heaven" by Cynthia Rylant. There is also a companion "Cat Heaven" book with a similar theme/premise. This is a good book for younger children, preschool and early elementary. It allows families to talk about what happens to our pets when they leave us. While it does introduce the concept of a heaven it is not overtly one religion or another, allowing parents to discuss their own personal views of heaven. It is a sweet book with a comforting image of where your beloved pet may now be enjoying treats, soft beds and lots of fun.
"Goodbye Mousie" by Robie Harris tells the story of a little boy who wakes up one morning to discover that his mouse has died. It does a great job of discussing the difference between sleeping and dead, since the little boy is initially convinced that his mouse is "just very, very sleepy this morning." This book also portrays a wonderful little memorial ritual that the little boy puts together for his mouse with special things to go with Mousie in his coffin including a picture so he won't be lonely. This book also addresses the anger that we all feel as a normal part of grief. It is good to give children the understanding that it is ok to feel angry and sad when our pets leave us.
A book for slightly older children is "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney" by Judith Viorst. This book addresses the uncertainty of what happens after death. Is there a heaven? Do dogs and cats go to heaven? While it does leave that question open it has a wonderful story line about the cycle of life as Barney changes after being buried and helps the plants and flowers to grow. There is also a nice funeral/memorial idea that may help kids to come up with their own rituals for memorializing their pet. Funerals and memorials can be very helpful for children as an outlet for their grief and a good opportunity to discuss what they are feeling and to address any fears they may be experiencing.
We can always count on Mr. Rogers to provide us with clear explanations of things that happen in our lives. While the pictures are out of date the clear simple explanations in Mr. Rogers' "When a Pet Dies" can help to address the realities of death: "there comes a time when it [your pet] might be too sick or too badly hurt...for you or even the vet, to be able to keep it alive.'' It also discusses the feelings that children will experience: sadness, anger, loneliness and encourages them to talk about these feelings with their loved ones. I also like how it makes it ok to sometimes need some time alone to think about what happened. This alone time can be especially important for slightly older elementary children as they struggle to process death and how they should react to it.
And one final book to recommend. This last one would be most appropriate for older elementary age children or even teens and adults if they are willing to read a picture book. This book is about grief in general. It could easily be applied to loss of a family member, a pet, a divorce or even the grief we experience when we need to move away from everything we know. "Tear Soup; A recipe for healing after loss" by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen is a sweet story about a grandmother who has suffered an unspecified loss. She begins to make tear soup. It addresses that everyone grieves in their own time and their own way. It is ok to grieve even when others may want you to move along. As each ingredient goes into the soup, the soup becomes richer and opens doors to sharing the grief with others who are also grieving. There is a wonderful thread of hope and strength despite the grandmother's sometimes intense grief throughout this book. Grandy says that making tear soup has taught her that "there is something down deep within all of us ready to help us survive the things we think we can't survive."
If you would like some more recommendations for books to read with your children about pet loss you can find more resources at http://csuvth.colostate.edu/_docs/diagnostic_and_support/argus/argus_201101_books_children.pdf
Thank you for sharing this, I think I need this for my kids, they have lots of questions after the pet cremation services seattle these books can help them to understand and might lessen their questions.
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